People who live with the virus

The year 2021 has passed.

But we’re still living with the virus.

Although the novel Coronavirus pandemic continues, the reality is that humanity has been living with viruses for hundreds of years for a very long time without finding a suitable solution.

HIV, for example, is still on the rise every year, according to research by related agencies. By the end of last year, China’s HIV infection, has exceeded 1,053,000. The cumulative death toll, more than 351,000.

Even if they survive and live with the virus, those infected still face discrimination and human rights abuses.

Infected people may be around us, they hesitate, confused, at a loss, their life story is worth listening to us, their life is worth our attention to care.

This microscopic story will take you to an infected person, from diagnosis to trying to accept himself, his journey is worth reflecting on ourselves.

Here’s the real story about him:

Intruding into your body
Xiao Shuguang got the express from downstairs, just returned home and hid in his room.

He carefully unwrapped the package and took out two white kits. The cap is then removed to reveal the sharp needle.

There was a vague unease in his mind, and the needle used today seemed a little provocative.

Xiao Shuguang has no need to read the package attached to the product instructions, because these operations for him, already well.

First, he pricked his thumb with the needle, and a spot of blood came out, and then it grew; The second step is to squeeze the blood into the kit while blood outflow increases. The third step is to drop dilution into the blood and wait nervously for the results.

These steps are easy and can be done in a matter of minutes.

Xiao Shuguang has done such detection more than once, every time the moment of broken fingers, he will be in the heart of his countless slap in the face, warning their life can not be wanton.

However, each time the result was negative, he would forget the warning he had given himself 30 minutes earlier.

Today’s 30 minutes are just as long.

He placed the kits on another table and played a computer game to distract himself.

The kit on the far left is used to test for syphilis, and the red line in the C area shows up quickly, while the T area shows no change.

Xiao Shuguang in the game, subconsciously glance at the eye, thought the left result should be negative this time.

“He thought, and went on to fight with others in the game.

At this point, the T zone on the far right, a red line slowly emerges. And then slowly, the C and T regions, the two red lines appear together brightly.

Xiao Shuguang play a game, to check the results. One line on the left, pass. But the two lines on the right suddenly force their way into the eye.

Xiao Shuguang’s heart suddenly surprised, as if for a while, stopped beating.

He was terrified, and electricity ran up his spine to his skull. Finally came back and confirmed the result again.

The lines remained there, standing out against the white background.

Figure | two red lines represent test positive for HIV

This also means that Xiao Shuguang is likely to be infected with HIV.

Xiao Shuguang panic.

He suddenly remembered the old saying that one could walk by the river without getting his shoes wet. He always read all kinds of news about AIDS and the living conditions of AIDS patients on the Internet, but he did not expect that he became a part of it.

The invisible Person in a Marriage
Xiao Shuguang is not satisfied with his marriage.

Before marriage, Xiao Shuguang is gentle and generous to his wife’s impression. After marriage, the wife during pregnancy, as if changed a person, irritable, capricious.

Xiao Shuguang just began to think that his wife is pregnant, postpartum should be better. However, after giving birth to the child, his wife is still like this, lukewarm to him, sometimes a little trivial things, also want to develop to the point of fighting.

She even let Xiao Shuguang sleep to the second bedroom, with the baby sleep in the master bedroom. After marriage only about a year and a half, Xiao Shuguang and his wife did not have sexual life.

The incident slowly stirred up conflict between the two men.

One night, Xiao Shuguang busy after work on entertainment, a body to return home. Wife and baby are asleep.

Xiao Shuguang did not return to his second bedroom, he came to the master bedroom, wake up his wife, want to sleep with her. His wife smelled pungent alcohol, without saying anything else, kicked Xiao Shuguang to the ground.

He nearly broke his back and went to the hospital overnight for a check-up. Since then, Xiao Shuguang dare not touch his wife’s body.

Xiao Shuguang has a group of friends from childhood to play, they laugh at him is widowed man, is only with the five fingers of the girl’s life man.

There is a small, teach Xiao Shuguang download city dating software, let him know some heterosexual friends.

Xiao Shuguang just began to play, no one looked for him to chat. He takes the initiative to talk to others, and after a word or two, the conversation dies down. When I was young, I taught him some chatting skills, such as asking each other to dine in a fancy restaurant and giving each other luxuries.

Xiao Shuguang although nearly middle-aged, no small fresh meat face, but tall and burly, so promised to meet with him the girl is not a few.

This software is xiao Shuguang more play more familiar, almost every month will carry his wife, secretly date with the person.

In this way, the virus sneaked into his life.

In the CDC to get positive recheck results, Xiao Shuguang felt his marriage in jeopardy. This feeling, when his wife quarreled with him, cold war, and even began to domestic violence against him, he had never had.

His wife’s heart may have no love for him, but he knows that his wife can not leave him, she needs a man to support the family.

But in the face of a life-and-death virus, this strong link has become fragile, and could even fall apart.

Xiao Shuguang did not dare to tell his wife that he was infected with the virus, he was looking for the appropriate time to do an explanation.

He began to worry that his wife and children might be infected. Considering that he has not had sex with his wife for a long time, the probability of infection to her is not big.

But he also thought, after all, two people living together, it is inevitable that there will be some contact wounds, blood and other infections.

He found a physical examination agency online, bought two packages that included HIV tests and coaxed his wife and children into getting checkups.

Fortunately, they were not infected.

Since then, Xiao Shuguang paid more attention to it. He bought utensils, toothbrushes and towels for his own use. After each brush, the toothbrush is hidden in the secondary drawer; Eat a meal, oneself bowl chopsticks take toilet alone wash.

Xiao Shuguang has done all this abnormal behavior explanation, waiting for his wife to take the initiative to ask. His wife, however, took no notice of his behaviour, asked no questions, and let him do whatever he did.

As long as I pay my salary on time every month, I don’t care about anything else.

That day, from the CENTER for Disease control and prevention, Xiao Shuguang is vaguely aware that his life will be turned upside down.

Become A treasure
At 10 a.m., the phone on my desk went off.

Xiao Shuguang press off the alarm, carrying a bag of tissues, go to the bathroom on time, colleagues laugh at him, he said he is now every day fixed point toilet.

What we do not know is that this is Xiao Shuguang in acting. He went to the bathroom, not to the bathroom at all, but to take his medicine.

AIDS drugs need to be taken regularly every day. He was afraid that his colleagues would be discriminated against if they knew he was taking the drug, and in order to keep his job, he had to take the drug secretly.

Figure | shu-guang xiao using drugs

Lamivudine, tenofovir disoproxil fumarate, Tefcon… These medicaments vocabulary, before xiao Shuguang is infected, it is strange to him.

Since his diagnosis, these pills have become an essential part of his daily life.

Xiao Shuguang added A group, group named “A treasure big family”, A treasure meaning, is infected with AIDS virus.

He just entered this group, see this group name, feel funny and sad.

Group friends chat in the group every day, talking about all kinds of life details, if it were not for a few volunteers from time to time, urging everyone to take medicine, otherwise it would really have the illusion that people here are no different from normal and healthy people.

The kindred gathered here as if they were warming each other around a bonfire. Xiao Shuguang gradually came out of the lost, he took medicine on time every day, regularly check the body, and strive to make life as before.

However, after joining A treasure group 3 months, A thing that happens in the group, let Xiao Shuguang’s body and mind be hit again.

There used to be A treasure in the group, who was very active every day, telling jokes and Posting jokes. Suddenly, for A period of time, this person did not speak in the group for A long time.

Someone remembered and asked the volunteer if the person was too busy with work to come and chat recently. Volunteers said the man had a sudden illness and was in hospital.

Xiao Shuguang realized that the virus in his body, like a time bomb, there is always the explosion of that day.

Although many experts say that if you take medicine regularly, you will live as long as normal people. However, this kind of herd immunity is low, and the probability of suffering from various diseases is higher than normal people.

Taking a pill is known in the community as “eating sugar,” and a pill is a candy. Since “eat sugar”, plus group friends this emergency, let Xiao Shuguang cherish his body more.

He deleted the dating app, quit smoking and drinking, ate and slept regularly. Once a month, the group meets to eat and talk.

This kind of quiet life, Xiao Shuguang seems to feel very satisfied.

But occasionally he would wake up from a dream that his life had come to an end without warning, without even time to say goodbye to his family, children and friends.

Xiao Shuguang takes a bath every day, looking at his body, will produce a wonderful strangeness.

He felt that after his diagnosis, his body was no longer completely controlled by himself, and part of his body sovereignty was controlled by the virus.

Every day after infection, Xiao Shuguang is learning to coexist with the virus.

Physical examination, break through the psychological line
Because take medicine on time, check on time for the sake of Xiao Shuguang and ordinary people have no difference, do not see that he is HIV infected.

Xiao Shuguang in the company as usual meetings, training, business trips to talk about customers. In several meetings, the alarm of his mobile phone rang on time, and he used the excuse to go to the bathroom, but actually he went to take medicine, which made his colleagues at the meeting a little confused.

Xiao Shuguang in charge of the rank and ability to work, let him in the company like a duck in water. Therefore, the meeting encountered such things, everyone also smiled in the past, no one care.

The boss told Xiao Shuguang at the beginning of the year, the end of the year will promote him to do vice president, annual salary rose 30%. Turn in the end of the year, Xiao Shuguang secretly waiting for the boss to inform him of the promotion of the news.

However, before this, Xiao Shuguang also had to pass a pass, that is the unit of the year-end physical examination.

Xiao Shuguang’s company, every year for each employee to provide a health benefits. In theory, employees have the right to go for a medical check-up or not. However, in this company, every employee must take the company’s annual physical examination.

Xiao Shuguang as a middle-level executive, he certainly knows the reason. On the surface, the company is concerned about the health of its employees, but the boss is afraid of sudden death during work and he can’t afford such costs.

The boss needs a healthy crew to fight for him.

Therefore, a batch of optimization will be made for employees who fail the physical examination combined with the annual performance appraisal.

Xiao Shuguang in A treasure group to say their own this problem, I hope to have A group of friends to help answer it, A trick. For Xiao Shuguang this problem, we discussed very warmly in the group, out of a lot of ideas.

Some let him find someone to replace the physical examination, some let him find an excuse to go on a business trip, some let him ask whether the physical examination should check HIV, if not, it should have little impact.

But he found that the only thing he was not advised to do was talk to the company. He knew that if he did, he would be setting himself up for a dead end.

Xiao Shuguang specially chose a noon, please be in charge of employee welfare HR lunch.

At the dinner table, Xiao Shuguang said indirectly that his recent sleep is not very good, asked her this medical examination can detect the quality of sleep, what are the projects.

HR and pan out, Xiao Shuguang breathed a sigh of relief, fortunately this physical examination did not check HIV this one.

To the unified physical examination of the morning, Xiao Shuguang heartbeat acceleration, uneasy. This kind of jumpy feeling is exactly the same as that time I took the kit to do the test and then diagnosed.

He was at the hospital gate, afraid to step in. He couldn’t help but imagine the doctor taking his blood, getting screened for HIV, and then HR informing the whole company of the results, making him the target of public criticism.

He does not want to be different, do not want to be spurned by others, more do not want to become the eyes of others “walking virus”.

Xiao Shuguang, gave up the physical examination.

Find an exit in life
Xiao Shuguang submitted a letter of resignation news spread like wildfire.

We are very surprised, because Xiao Shuguang is not only a six-year old employee here, and he is about to be promoted.

Xiao Shuguang to appease subordinates, said his family something, need more time to accompany the family.

However, after xiao Shuguang leaves office two months, his wife also put forward a divorce. Because Xiao Shuguang can not pay wages on time, he stayed in the home, it means that quarrel fighting, so not conducive to the growth of children.

Moreover, the virus in his body is not only a threat to himself, but also a threat to his wife and children.

Xiao Shuguang realized that he had no reason to stay in this home. It’s time for him. to leave.

In April 2021, Xiao Shuguang returned to single life.

The children and house were given to his wife, and he rented a cheap house outside. Relying on the contacts accumulated in the workplace, he took over some projects to do at home. He paid his wife’s living expenses every month, paid the rent, bought some food and daily necessities, and saved some money.

One night, Xiao Shuguang woke up again from a dream.

He suddenly felt afraid, he felt at this moment, is lying in the rental house of his own, jobless like himself, no friends and relatives of their own, such a life seems to have been completely controlled by the virus, life has been prematurely declared a failure, he seems to be a living dead.

However, when the sunshine of the second day scatter into the room again, Xiao Shuguang eats next to be called “candy” in the bell, he feels the life ahead is still full of hope again.

Afterword.
Interview Xiao Shuguang, is carried out at the dinner table.

When the waiter dishes on the table, Xiao Shuguang from the bag took out a pair of chopsticks, this let me very surprised.

Ask him why, and he says it’s safe for others. I said I wasn’t afraid. I knew the virus could only be transmitted by blood, not by eating together.

Xiao Shuguang helpless smile said, not everyone like you think so.

Xiao Shuguang jing I a glass of water, water on behalf of wine, said thank you.